Change Management – Page 5 – Segal Coaching LLC

Your Greatest Networking Challenges Solved

Join us for a complimentary teleseminar TODAY, Tuesday, September 1, 1:45-2:30 pm on networking challenges and their solutions. We will address the common obstacles and benefits of networking, including:

Trouble finding time
Discomfort with social aspects of networking
Lack of clarity on networking process
Networking burnout
Using email to network or get back in touch
How to “keep the ball rolling” on leads
Your own challenges! (email me ahead at asegal@segalcoaching.com or ask a question during the teleseminar)

Networking is not a numbers game. Learn an easier and more effective way to network to meet your goals.

The link to register for this special presentation is here. There is a PowerPoint presentation that you can download upon registration. Replays will be available if you cannot attend the live event. Please email me if you would like a copy of the replay. See you at the webinar!

Summer Vacations Make Us Stronger. Here’s Why.

Summer vacations make us stronger. Period. Why?

Let’s cut to the chase. In ten short days, you’ll have a summer to enjoy.

Say that your goal numero uno this summer is landing a new gig (a new job, new client, etc.). Now let’s look at this goal in the context of the top three summer goals on your list:

Land a new gig
Visit the Taj Mahal
Hang out with family at the beach for a week

We are tempted (in the wisdom of our modern society) to say that goals #2 and 3 are a distraction from goal #1. How can you play when you are supposed to be doing something more important?

But if you look at the facts, visiting the Taj Mahal and finding a new gig have a lot in common.

How so? Each one requires you to envision, plan, execute and move out of your comfort zone in a big way.It’s not just the precious downtime of vacation that makes you stronger, it’s the mindset of creativity, openness, goal-setting and action. It’s also the stimulus and satisfaction that come from achieving what you set out to do.

Compare that to procrastinating at your desk, or letting your body leave the office while your brain stays virtually trapped there. How is that improving your mindset?

Even goal #3 of the beach, admittedly much less dramatic than a trip to the Taj Mahal, requires vision, planning and execution. It will also take you out of your comfort zone, unless you are fortunate to live at the shore or your business card currently reads “beach bum.” A trip to the beach requires focus and action, and it exposes you to a whole new set of information and challenges that you will never find at the office.
Hmmm, a day at the beach…. It’s not just hot sand and folding chairs. You may find something washed up on the shore that makes you say “what the heck is that?” And while your mind races through its catalog of information trying to make a match, the other problem you were looking to solve (your new gig) gets a hit in your brain, and your eureka moment arrives. You have figured out the missing piece to make real progress.

Compare again to procrastinating at your desk. No synapses firing wild. No catalog of information activated in your brain. Nope. Instead, the cycle is:

Guilt for not being productive. Boredom. More guilt. Repeat.

Maybe you can even make a new connection at the beach, someone who can answer the question of what that thing you saw actually is. (Eureka again?) And just maybe, in the way that fate and coincidence often play their hands, she might be exactly the right person to introduce you to the right person.

Need I mention this would not happen at your desk? Or if you miss the weird sea life thing and connection because you are mentally checked out?

Reframe summer: less guilt, more possibilities.

Stay in the moment. Vacation strong.

Anne Marie Segal is a business and career coach to attorneys, executives and entrepreneurs.

Ten Ways to Beat Your Procrastination

Have a lot to do today? This week? This lifetime?

So why aren’t you finishing that little task that should take 10 minutes (two hours later) or that looming project that should take 10 hours (back-burnered for two months)? And what can you do about it?

AdobeStock_79742635 (beat procrastination).jpg

There are many different motivation killers, and you could be suffering from one or more of them. Are you bored? Ambivalent? Out of your comfort zone?

Here are ten common reasons you may procrastinate and how to get going:

1) You are tired. It happens. We have high-energy days and low-energy days. So what do you do? Finish the small tasks that will make you feel that you’ve accomplished something on the days that you are dragging, and save the bigger tasks for the days (and times of day) when your energy is at its peak.

If there is a day you can get more done, schedule some time to relax on another day, such as on a Friday afternoon. Procrastinating is time-wasting, and it is non-productive. Reprioritizing your time is taking advantage of your normal highs and lows, and catching yourself at your best. Nap or have downtime if you are tired, and later make it up. Or finish your memo or report first, then get an hour of reward time. And don’t squander it on Facebook or mindless web searches, you earned that hour!

If you know you’ll be tired this Friday (your deadline) because you plan to be out late Thursday night, let your motivation be enjoying Thursday night because you’re finishing the project by Wednesday.

If you are consistently tired, of course, get more sleep and nutrition. You have to keep yourself running well to do good work, and a tired brain or body can’t go the extra mile when needed.

2) You are hungry. In the modern world, we put off lunches and dinners because we think we will be more efficient. In the long run, we are racing to finish things but not being more effective over the course of a month or a year.

Eat when you are hungry. Have an apple with some almond butter. Or whatever suits your fancy and fuels you up.

I don’t keep it a secret that I have food with me at all times and stash the storable variety in desk drawers at my office. If your workplace does not have a refrigerator, consider investing in a mini-fridge for yourself or with a group.

3) You are bored. Boring tasks are hard to finish. It’s just a fact of life. The worst part is when they take over half a day or more because they are SOOO boring that they rain on your happy-parade. (Yes, I did say that.) I have two solutions for making boring tasks less tedious: get creative and drum up a deadline.

Make a boring task less brain-draining, and keep your focus, by using brightly colored pens or highlighters or crossing out lines on the page as you complete each one. In other words, dress up the task to make it more interesting.

You can also create a deadline, even if one doesn’t exist. I often set a timer on my phone and bet myself how quickly I can finish something. This doesn’t mean you do everything on ASAP mode or ignore important details. It does mean, however, that you get the hard parts done with the momentum of adrenaline. Sometimes, it works even better if you have someone else who can be your designated “taskmaster” on the task. For example, bet that you will pay a friend $1 (or $10) if you don’t finish the super-boring-thing by noon. Or more, if that’s not enough to motivate.

Betting yourself you can finish early doesn’t mean you do everything on ASAP mode or ignore important details. It does mean, however, that you get the hard parts done with the momentum of adrenaline.

4) You need to move. Maybe you are procrastinating because your muscles feel as stiff as hard as the chair you are sitting in. Get up from your desk. Stretch. Walk around. Oh, and make a plan to go to the gym this week, or get outside and run, walk or swim in the sunshine.

5) You are distracted. Distractions abound, and you need to find ways to get around them. Sometimes they are physical distractions, like conversations you can’t help overhearing that drown out your own thoughts in your head. Can you take action to create a more peaceful atmosphere? Or can you relocate?

Sometimes distractions are emotional, like expecting an important phone call or being upset. Take a moment to recognize the feeling and, if possible, address whatever come up. If it is a phone call, for example, and you are worried about what you’ll say, write down five speaking points for the conversation. If you are upset, maybe the priority for you in that moment is to work out what is going on (or, if you are on a deadline, take at least take five minutes to honor the feeling, rather than trying to bury it). Then you can go back to complete the other task that you have been distracted from.

For the five procrastination triggers above, the key is being aware of yourself and your surroundings. For the five below, beat the procrastination game with tactical strategies and your own priorities.

6) You haven’t broken a large project into smaller tasks. Create a chart or list to map out what you need to do, then cross off each task as it is completed. You will feel a sense of accomplishment to have 6 out of 10 parts done, rather than a sense of defeat that you still have not finished the project. Consider breaking it down by function or mini-deliverable (even if the only recipient is yourself) rather than a step-by-step list.

7) You are out of your comfort zone. Sometimes you may not have the skills or information to tackle what is expected of you, or what you have designated as a new area that you would like to master. Where can you get it? Who can you ask? Or can you start first and fill in the details later? For example, can your first task be to familiarize yourself with the process? Cross that off your list, and you are one step closer to your goal of completion.

8) You have forgotten your priorities. Next time a work project or task is taking more time than it needs, ask yourself what you could be doing with the time if you were more efficient. What’s your big picture, based on your own values and priorities? Chances are that you’ll have lots of good answers about how you could be using that extra time.

At the same time, sometimes we focus more on a smaller task because we don’t want to get to the larger one that is really the priority. It’s fine to do that if you are really getting things out of the way to have a clean slate to concentrate, but not if the lower-priority items weigh you down or are time-wasters masquerading as helpful tasks.

If you looked back on your life a month or a year from now, would you be thankful for how your spent your time. Does it fit into your big picture?

9) You are ambivalent about whether you want to do it. This point is similar to the one above. If you are consistently late responding to someone or deciding whether to commit to a project, maybe you are uncertain whether it is the best use of your time or resources, or if you can make the emotional commitment to see it through. This can manifest as procrastination, but really it’s your gut talking to you. Can you hear it?

Take the time to sort out your thoughts and feelings. How does this person or project fit into your bigger plan? Will you have more energy, move yourself further toward a life or professional goal, do important work and enjoy it? I used to think that at least one of these had to be true to make the commitment. Now I look for all four.

(Note: the “important work” from time to time may only be keeping your job, but if it often feels like that’s the only importance of your work and time spent, maybe a life change is in order?)

10) You want it to be perfect. Life is a process, and so is work. Deadlines require that we complete things before they are perfect. And frankly, what may be “perfect” to one person may be only “pretty good” to another, or even to your future self!

You will get more points for getting something done, on time, when you are fresh, than belaboring it through to a long and bitter end, where the big thought could get lost in the polishing of details. Take satisfaction not from perfection, but from valuing yourself and each moment of your time on this planet.

You only get one life, after all. How do you want to spend it?

If you have any more tips to get motivated and beat procrastination at its own game, please leave them in the comments. Thanks!

Anne Marie Segal is a business and career coach to attorneys, executives and entrepreneurs.

My Biggest Career Mistake: Sailing, Secretaries and Lime Green Pants

I believe in the power of mistakes.

No one likes to make mistakes, of course. But that is where the learning happens. Bigger mistake, greater opportunity to learn.

What may have been my biggest career mistake happened very early on, while I was still finishing my undergraduate degree. I had my very first internship and was ready to conquer the world. Good so far. I also thought I knew exactly how to do it. Ha!

I was a lowly intern, feeling on top of the world that I had gotten “in” at a place that I very much wanted to work. The secretary in the department was very good to me, trying to help me out so I could make my way. But I didn’t take the cue.

Not only did I not yet understand that secretaries rule the roost (if not the world), but I did not appreciate that someone could make choices very different than mine and still have a lot to teach me.

Here’s the thing. This secretary (we’ll call her Nancy) wore lime green capri pants, corduroys and other outfits to work that in my naivety had judged as “not fit for the professional world”. I call myself naive not because I was wrong to recognize that Nancy would not move up the corporate ladder if she didn’t emulate the look of those at the top: dark-colored suits. She wouldn’t. Rather, I assumed that moving up within the organization was and should be Nancy and everyone else’s goal, without realizing that she had her own plan. One that was more carefully formulated than my 19-year-old point of view would allow.

Nancy wanted a place to work during the day (while she pursued her own interests on the side) that was forgiving enough so she could wear want she wanted and be whom she pleased. She was expected to conform to certain norms and left blissfully free to ignore other ones. She made calculated decisions to achieve the results she wanted. She knew exactly how to get where she wanted to go, but it wasn’t anywhere that I could have imagined.

So when Nancy pulled me aside one day to tell me that I should “follow the lead” of the head of the group (we’ll call him Troy), who wanted to talk about basketball and sailing a good part of the time, I ignored her advice. I wanted to ask Troy about things that interested me, and at the time these were not at the top of my list. While others joked and called him Captain Troy, I smiled through gritted teeth and pushed on for the certain set of experiences that I had expected out of the internship.

After all, we were not on a yacht, we were in an office. I wanted to learn the ways of leadership and success, and they were not going to come from talking about sailing, I thought. At the time, I didn’t have a boat, or any family or friends with a boat. The one time I had taken an extended trip on a boat as a child, I had been seasick most of the week. I was bound to say something ill-informed, so wasn’t it better to steer the conversation back to what was comfortable to me?

I couldn’t look bad if I just avoided topics that were out of my league, right? Anyway, I reasoned, what did Nancy know, with her green pants and all? How could a chat about sailing be useful to me at all, other than to smile and humor my boss? Why would I encourage him to continue that conversation?

Turns out, Nancy knew a lot. In particular, she knew how to keep everyone happy while keeping herself happy. She kept these two goals in perfect balance, giving Troy and the group the support they needed while feeding her own needs. She intuitively understood that showing an interest in sailing was showing an interest in Troy. And that was the important part.

By contrast, I was being immature, overly serious and even selfish – holding on to the world as I knew it – by expecting to direct the line of conversation. And I was missing out on the chance to learn, bond, grow and have fun.

So, my biggest career mistake was actually a set of related mistakes:

Mistake #1: Discounting the message of an unexpected messenger.

Mistake #2: Closing myself off from new experiences.

Mistake #3: Making it all about me.

As I found out later, the green pants were a statement on Nancy’s part, a line in the sand that she was in a bridge job and had no pretense of “moving up” to a management position within that organization. She had her eyes on another prize – her own set of professional goals – but she also made sure to be so good at her job (orienting herself to the situation, as needed) that there was no way she would risk losing it over something as simple as wardrobe choices. In fact, as a highly creative person, she literally wore her authenticity on her sleeve. And she was respected for that by others in the group, including (in the months and years following my internship) by me.

I often think back to Nancy, the unexpected messenger, with whom I have lost touch in the over 20 years since I had that internship. I am indebted to her wisdom. I wonder if she has started her own company, maybe even a fashion line.

Nancy could have changed her style of dress any day. Changing my attitude took a lot longer.

From my biggest mistake, I learned my greatest lesson. It is not all about fitting in, it is also about being a fit.

Will You Bloom this Spring?

If you are located on the East Coast of the United States, as I am, you have been desperately waiting for spring to be more than a date on the calendar. Spring means warmer weather, pleasant outside gatherings and a fresh chance for a new beginning.

Yet unlike plants that have an internal guide on when to bloom, many of us have lost our intuition on the “where and when” of new growth. We carry the memories of too many prior Springs, where we have bloomed and then forgotten to water ourselves, or to get enough sun, only to end up foiling our own plan for new growth that Spring had so hopefully promised.

What is the cure for the lost hope of a dozen of Springs past?

Trust yourself. Life is a process, not a study in perfection.
Keep yourself accountable for the changes you wish to see in your life. Find your own “Board of Advisers” – just like the Board of any company, find the Board of You.
Set your goals and prioritize your time to reach them. May you look back to today, this Spring and this year, and feel that you used your time to set your own path (years, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds – they are yours).
Surpass obstacles, like the plant that blooms around the rock.
Approach life with an open hand, ready to receive what you seek. The closed hand receives nothing. In the same way, if you grasp at every opportunity, you will lose your focus when the right one is presented.

Will you bloom this Spring?

My Biggest Risk, Finding My Core – One Year Later

One year ago today, I walked out the doors for the last time of a safe, stable and seven-year long job. It wasn’t a bad job, all things considered. I learned a tremendous amount, made some good friends and enjoyed the challenge of being under fire from time to time. There were major and petty annoyances, like any other job, but it was fine. The ubiquitous “fine”.

My biggest risk was giving up security in exchange for self-direction. In the process, I broke through and found my core, which drives my life and practice today.

Here’s my story.

photo-finding-my-core

Note: This post was written in 2013, one year after I walked away from a six-figure job and launched a solo law practice. Since April 2015, I have been working with clients as a executive coach and helping them take their own risks.

When published, this was one of my most popular posts.

A Fine Job, not a Great Life

Yet good enough was no longer enough. It simply wasn’t working for me, especially the push-yourself-to-your-limits-each-and-every-minute atmosphere typical of many law jobs, most notably in the finance world. Needs (not wants), from motherhood to health, were screaming to be addressed. I struggled to fit my life around my job, as high-level jobs nearly always demand, instead of integrating the two into a solid whole. I did yoga on the weekends and was stressed out all week. I felt stifled and exhausted, and I could no longer do my best work.

The answer was clear. I needed a way to reconnect with my values. This wasn’t a free-to-be-me, let’s-find-myself goal. Don’t get me wrong, as uncool as it sounds, I have always loved being a lawyer. But I was choking down my own success, not able to chew any of the individual bites. I wanted to taste my life again. I wanted to be the lawyer and person I knew I was meant to be. I only have one life, after all, and it was abundantly clear that I wasn’t living it the way I had always envisioned.

A New Path – Finding My Core

After many months of racking my brain for what environment could better match where I was going (or how to make my job a better fit), I realized that there was no known place to land. At least not with my then-current skills and the common lack of vision among recruiters and HR departments. I could have spent years retraining, but I didn’t have years. I needed to make it happen. Soon. Myself. I needed to craft my own suit rather than buying off the rack. Create my dream job from scratch.

(You have to love stock images. Can you think of an uglier suit than that?)

So I did. On May 1, 2012, I took my biggest risk. With six months of income saved, a supportive family and a walk into the unknown, I started my own law firm.

A year later, with many scrapes and lessons learned, I can report back that my path is not for the faint of heart. Although there is not one day that I wish I was parked back in that chair at my old office, I can imagine many people would. It has been quite an uphill walk, and no one drives by with a golf cart ready to help you up that hill. (Although a few will stop to offer some shade and a cool drink.) It’s character-building at its best. And worth every minute.

We Are Not Alone

I have learned, most importantly, that I am not alone. I have a great support group of clients, mentors, colleagues, other lawyers, small business owners and friends who have helped me visualize what my practice can be and achieve new heights. In return, I do the same for them. I would never have imagined how my world could and did open up after that first step.

After over a decade with corporate law as my core, my practice has expanded organically, largely driven by client needs and my desire to maintain a manageable schedule and grow in measured steps. I was asked by a friend to find a local trademark lawyer, and I ended up with a new client (after hours and hours of study to learn the area). Then a friend of a friend needed help with her non-profit. I am now working with a few key mentors and colleagues to assist her with the tax exemption process and other matters. Still other friends and colleagues, who are parents of minor children, have needed wills, advance directives and guardianship appointments over the past year. Furthermore, artists, knowing my background in the arts, have come to me with questions in that field. These practice areas are diverse and yet related, and my knowledge and experience in each one informs the other.

The Years to Come

I look forward to what the next year may hold in store, as these (now core) practice areas continue to cross-pollinate and mature. As I said recently to a group of businesswomen I know, each new day is like a little present waiting to be opened.

Fast forward to today, one short year from the day I walked out of that safe job and started this journey. My hope for more collaborative relationships and a self-directed, fulfilling future is being realized. I am blessed with awesome clients who have taken a risk in hiring me out of the gate, and I believe and trust that they have been fully satisfied with their choice. I look forward to serving them further and new clients and friends in many years to come.

*****

Anne Marie Segal’s biggest risk was trading security for self-direction. She has taken a further risk to document the decision and process rather than project a pre-approved, professionally-manicured cutout with no personality. (We tend to like our lawyers bland, after all, without any zest or salt.) She’s not that lawyer, and she never will be. Ms. Segal’s clients, who are generally looking for a client-centered relationship – not a didactic, inflexible lawyer with no new ideas – thank her for that.

Law Office of Anne Marie Segal (2012-2014) is now closed. Since April 2015, I have been working as an executive coach and writer, and I am not currently available for legal engagements.

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