Yoga Mantra: Take a Comfortable Seat (In Your Career)

Welcome to a new decade and my first article in a monthly series, Off the Mat: Yoga Mantras for the Modern Career.

Through this new series, I am creating a space in which I can support clients and readers who are interested in and receptive to furthering their yogic wisdom by providing a means to translate yoga principles to their careers.

This month’s mantra is fitting for the New Year and often incorporated into yoga classes during the first few days of the year (and other times): set an intention.

Yoga Mantras for the Modern Career

If you have ever been to a yoga class, you know that you are often invited to “take a comfortable seat.” You can sit on the floor or on a yoga block, bolster or zafu meditation cushion, and you are encouraged to choose the position that is most comfortable for you.

Relatively comfortable, that is. Not “cozy all tucked in your bed” comfortable, but the seat that feels most relaxed but allows you to stay alert at the same time.

Many of us, at least in the West, are not as accustomed to sitting without a chair or couch that has a back to rest on. We have do not have our core muscles sufficiently developed to keep our spine straight and pelvis stabilized. As we learn how to engage those muscles, we might be encouraged to imagine the pelvis like a bowl that can be tilted forward or back. Your goal is to find the right angle for proper alignment – keep the pelvic bowl level so you don’t (by analogy) spill the soup!

Yoga teachers, for example, may remind us to extend our spine from our sacrum to the base of our skull and relax our neck so our heads feel like they are simply floating. The image helps you internalize the ease and space you can create for yourself. A key takeaway is that we create much less stress in our bodies if we are in optimum alignment and can relax whatever muscles are not needed to maintain the pose.

That’s what you’ll learn in a yoga class – if you have the right teacher – and you can also learn similar concepts from a physical therapist, chiropractor or other health professional. The point of the comfortable seat in yoga, of course, is to help you free yourself (mind, body and spirit) for the work that you’ll do while seated in the class and be able to take that with you as you move off the mat.

THE “COMFORTABLE SEAT” OF YOUR CAREER

As I mentioned in my first article in this series, Yoga Mantras for the Modern Career is focused on translating yoga wisdom to our professional lives.

We can take the suggestion to “take a comfortable seat” literally, creating an ergonomic workplace and striving for good posture that allows us to relax and our energy to flow freely up and down our spines. That would be a great extension of the yogic wisdom of the phrase.

Yet the concept of the comfortable seat can also be imagined as moving beyond the literal and into the higher plane of how you align yourself professionally. The idea of relaxing while maintaining alertness – holding both of these goals in your mind simultaneously – is the aspect of the comfortable seat that gives us the richest metaphor applicable to our careers.

If you are getting hung up on the words pelvic bowl and spinal alignment, just imagine a cat. They are the masters of relaxed alertness, as they are able to sink comfortably and entirely into a space – as if they have not an ounce of tension in their bodies – yet be on the ready should their environment change on a moment’s notice.

Rather than arriving at a comfortable posture, many of us tilt (our career, if not our pelvis) too far forward or too far back. On the one end, we push too far into the future or in one direction or another, hurried and dissatisfied with ourselves, our choices, responses from others or the progress we have made in our careers. On the other end, we may fail to be sufficiently forward-looking, resting on our laurels or even feeling overwhelmed defeated and therefore falling back in our (again metaphorical) seats. In either case, we are not using our core strength to keep us balanced, centered and at ease.

When we are not setting ourselves up for ease, we need to devote more of our energies to maintaining our current position and have less energy available to access the opportunities that would present themselves if we were in an optimum state. When we are not alert, we can become complacent and miss those opportunities. The wisdom is to find the balance that brings both of these states together.

How can you achieve the optimum state of relaxed alertness in your career?
What would be different if you did?

Anne Marie Segal is an executive coach, resume writer and author of two well-received books on interviewing and career development. She served as a corporate attorney for 15 years, including roles at White & Case LLP and a prominent hedge and private equity fund manager, before launching her coaching practice. In addition to her career coach and resume writer certifications, she is a certified yoga teacher.

Based in Connecticut not far from New York City, Anne Marie partners with clients internationally on executive presence, impactful communications, graceful transitions and other aspects of professional and personal development.

This article is not medical advice. It is career advice!

Yoga Mantra for January 2020: Set an Intention for the New Year

Welcome to a new decade and my first article in a monthly series, Off the Mat: Yoga Mantras for the Modern Career.

This month’s mantra is fitting for the New Year and often incorporated into yoga classes during the first few days of the year (and other times): set an intention.

Yoga Mantras for the Modern Career

Welcome to a new decade and my first article in a monthly series, Off the Mat: Yoga Mantras for the Modern Career.

WHY I AM WRITING THIS SERIES

When I work with clients, I often incorporate wisdom accessed from my yoga training – I became a certified yoga teacher in 2012 – and ongoing practice.

I am not always explicit about yoga as the source of such wisdom, however, because not everyone finds yoga accessible or personally meaningful to their own lives.

Through this new series, I am creating a space in which I can support clients and readers – among those who are interested in and receptive to furthering their yoga wisdom – by providing a means to translate yoga principles to their careers.

Essentially, in this series I bring yoga to the foreground. Yet these aren’t yoga lessons in the traditional sense. I won’t teach half moon pose, alternate nostril breathing or how to flip your dog. In Yoga Mantras for the Modern Career, we are explicitly taking our yoga off the mat.

How can a (new or existing) yoga practice enlighten your career? How can you integrate what you learn on the mat into your personal or professional life?

This series is my gift to you. In the spirit of yoga, take what serves you and leave the rest.

YOGA MANTRAS

There are traditional yoga mantras straight from the Upanishads, such as Lokah samastah sukinoh bhavantu (translation: may all beings everywhere be happy and free), and more contemporary mantras based on yoga principles.

In Yoga Mantras for the Modern Career, I am building on the idea that every action in our lives can be a meditation and every instruction in a yoga class, however small, can become a mantra.

More specifically, since this site is about leadership, professional development and related areas, the mantras in this series will be in support of your life and career.

THIS MONTH’S YOGA MANTRA:
SETTING AN INTENTION

This month’s mantra is fitting for the New Year and often incorporated into yoga classes during the first few days of the year (and other times): set an intention.

When we set an intention in yoga practice, we do it in present tense, such as:

I live in the present moment.

The goal is not simply to have your intention on the mat (while practicing yoga) but to take it with you as you move off the mat (into the rest of your life). In the context of your personal and professional life, you might set another intention that serves you:

I have a great career.

I speak fluent Spanish.

I live in New York City.

An intention is stated in present tense, even if it is not your current state. By wording it in the present, you can see yourself as if you have already achieved – and thereby activate the power of – your intention.

Once articulated, your vision is transformed into action through:

continuing to bring your awareness back to the intention,
maintaining a commitment to the intention (for yogis, this is the tapas or fiery discipline of the Niyamas),
holding a confident belief you can achieve it, and
taking active steps to realize your intention.

When clients come to me seeking a career change, promotion or new job, for example, we work (explicitly or implicitly) on some or all aspects of the above.

First, I help them clarify, articulate and prioritize their intention.

On a very granular level, what does it mean to you to have a great career? (This is a version of the classic coaching question, “What does success look like for you?”)

What is working in your professional life, what needs to change and what specifically would that change look like?

What are the obvious and not so obvious things that would need to shift?

What would you be doing on a day-to-day level (which type of projects, what type of team or individual work, what working environment, how much oversight, etc.)?

The more you can clarify your intention, the more effectively you can keep it on the front burner and take concrete steps to realize it. You may also find that a more specific career or other intention will not only enable a richer and more robust visualization but also increase your ability to keep your awareness on the intention rather than giving way to the inevitable distractions that each moment presents.

Second, we work on increasing their confidence.

You may have confidence across many aspects of your life, but to achieve your intention you need to have the confidence that you can actually bring it to fruition and maintain that confidence through the process of creating the reality your intention represents.

Third, we devise active, effective steps to realize their intention.

This third aspect works in tandem with the second one, as your confidence will increase as you outline and begin to take active steps to put your intention into action. This may include, for example, moving out of your comfort zone, acquiring new skills or meeting people who can help you realize your goal.

Since the steps to creating a great career may be very specific to your individual case, let’s take a look at the implementation plan for a more universal intention, like foreign language acquisition. If your intention is to be fluent in Spanish, you may decide to take some or all of the following steps:

launch a weekly “Spanish table” lunch group or other gatherings among friends or colleagues,
find and listen to Spanish-language podcasts or songs during your morning commute,
engage in community service that exposes you to native Spanish speakers,
make a list of and watch top or classic movies or TV shows in Spanish (with or without English subtitles), from an Almodovar classic to Roma or even Jane the Virgin (which is partially in Spanish),
hire (or barter English lessons with) a Spanish tutor,
get and use magnets and/or flashcards with words and pictures in Spanish,
keep a diary in Spanish,
read books or magazines in Spanish,
do yoga in Spanish (hint: you can get your perro hacia abajo (down dog) going with a plethora of YouTube videos for every range of fitness level and special interest), and/or
prepare for and take one or more trips to Spain or Latin America during the year.

The overarching theme is to come at the same intention from a variety of perspectives – in this case, to create an immersion in the Spanish language – which is the same advice I would give for your career or any other aspect of your life.

Remember that part of the wisdom of putting your intention in the present tense is to recognize that you may not need to start from scratch or make a 180-degree turn to realize your goal. If your intention is to have a great career, you may start with recognizing what is already “great” about the current state of your professional life. Do you hold a leadership role? Have a great team? Relish the intellectual challenge? Make a lasting contribution to a cause you support?

If your intention is to be fluent in Spanish, build on what you already do and cherish in your life. So if you are an avid cook, you can start to follow recipes from cookbooks written in Spanish or talk yourself through the steps of your cooking in Spanish and explore any words you are missing. For example, in the phrase “ahora, voy a poner el agua a hervir….” if you don’t know the word for boil (hervir) or always forget that water (agua) uses the article “el” rather than “la,” you can remember both in the context of the sentence.

Although I spend a lot of time above giving examples of steps to illustrate the importance of putting your intention into action, the execution process is not more important than the setting of the intention in the first place. (It simply has more steps, as an intention by its nature is short and sweet.)

You can have the best implementation plan in the world, but if you don’t keep your intention alive and continue to bring your awareness back to it, outlining the steps will get you nowhere. We will meet here again month after month, New Year after New Year, and you will ask me why you have not (sufficiently) progressed. I am certain that is not what you seek!

Instead, post your intention at the top of your mat or on your bathroom mirror – literally, with a sticker or sticky note – and return to it every day.

MY OWN INTENTION FOR 2020

My own intention for the New Year is the first one written above:

I live in the present moment.

Carter at the Beach for New Year's

At Compo Beach for New Year's

Yesterday, on January 1, I took my dog (Carter) to Compo Beach for the first time. It was windy and cold but lovely nonetheless. Carter was ecstatic, and I had lot of fun keeping pace as he raced and frolicked across the beach.

Today is a new day and another chance to reset or refine my intention.

Happy New Year! What’s your intention?

Old Dog, New Tricks: What Can You Change Before Year End?

Happy businesswoman jumps in the airport

Most of us, thankfully, do not need to learn a new form of martial arts to effectuate the change we want to see in our lives. It could always help, yes, but it’s not the natural next step.

Yet we do have something eluding us. A piece of the puzzle we have not yet fit, and we cannot reach the next goal (even one we have been desperately seeking) without finding and placing that piece.

But human beings are stubborn. I know I am. And yes, I’ll say it, some of my clients are stubborn too.

Too often, we know what will serve us – what we need to do, so we can do what we want to do – but we make excuses. We are like old dogs who refuse to learn new tricks.

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So here’s what you do to change that:

(1) Take some time to chill. (Relax, settle in and create some emotional space.)

(2) Review what you wish to bring into your life, and articulate your top goal between now and year end. If your goal may not (or cannot) be completed by year end, choose a manageable goal that is a piece of a larger goal, and repeat these steps in the New Year. For example, rather than “get a new job,” your goal may be to take certain concrete steps toward that end. Focus on what you can change, without attachment to outcomes.

(3) Embrace the vulnerability that you need to move out of your comfort zone. Be prepared to fail, but also be prepared to succeed. In fact, redefine success as a series of steps, not only as an end point.

(4) Embrace the power that you can call forth, from the depths of your being, to reach your goal.

(5) Envision all of the ways you (yes, you) and your family, friends, team, community and/or others. will be better off when you have reached your goal.

(6) Build a support network for your change, even if it’s only one person. Ask them to hold you accountable at each step.

(7) Be curious about what you need to reach your goal, and take the time to explore the most efficient path for you to get there.

(8) Focus on the present. Not what you could have done last summer, last year or five years ago. What can you do now to achieve your goal? Keeping yourself in the present keeps your emotional energy available for solutions rather than stressing.

(9) Create a realistic action plan and work your plan. Reverse engineer your possible investments and divisions of time and energy to prioritize this goal among other obligations.

(10) Be your own best fan. Cheer yourself on, and celebrate your wins in a way that is meaningful to you.

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Focus on what you can change, without attachment to outcomes.

In the career context, your goal may be to build something, such as:

Resilience
A Calmer Demeanor
Relevant Skills or Expertise
A Stronger Professional Network
Gravitas and/or Greater Recognition in Your Field

Choose the goal that’s most pressing for you, and stop giving yourself excuses! Feel free to drop me a line telling me what you have been able to achieve.

Anne Marie Segal is an executive coach, resume writer and author of two well-received books on interviewing and career development. She served as a corporate attorney for 15 years, including roles at White & Case LLP and a prominent hedge and private equity fund manager, before launching her coaching practice. Based in Connecticut not far from New York City, Anne Marie partners with clients internationally on executive presence, impactful communications, graceful transitions and other aspects of professional and personal development. She also offers online instruction at www.segal247.com.

Image credits: Adobe Stock.

Why We Love (and Lament) Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, as it is practiced in the countries that celebrate it, is a nationwide day of gratitude. We are called to stop our busy lives and reflect on what really matters to us most. Extra credit is granted if we actually spend time with the people who matter to us, doing the things that matter to us and living in the present moment.

Something inevitably gets in the way. A relative makes a misplaced comment. A loved one would rather watch the football game than engage in heartfelt conversation. (Or, conversely, a loved one would rather talk than turn on the TV.) The food isn’t ready on time. We eat too much and feel like we are going to burst. The dog steals the pie right off the table. A work issue draws us away from the celebration.

Or occasionally, a true, pressing emergency arises.

Each of these distractions, disappointments and interruptions can take us away from the present moment by highlighting a gap between how we imagine Thanksgiving and the reality of what we are experiencing. I know that has happened to me. For many years, I had an idealized version of the holiday, and I worked very hard to meet it.

Distractions, disappointments and interruptions can reveal the gap between our idealized and real experiences.

This year, I stopped working so hard. In fact, I put aside the “work” mindset altogether. I took each moment as it came, each interruption as an opportunity to experiment and each person as they arrived that day.

The dog ate all the pie…? Now what?

If you will laugh about it next year, laugh about it now.

It would be superficial and misleading to say that this mental shift was achieved in one day. I have spent most of 2019 – and indeed, good parts of prior years – peeling back the layers of why I feel the need to work so hard. If I were to universalize the main discovery, it is this:

To simply be present with who and where we are, we need first to be content with who and where we are.

We love (and lament) Thanksgiving because it brings us face to face with this truth. It is the same with every holiday, celebration or tradition that purports to stop time. If we are stuck in cognitive and emotional dissonance – knowing and feeling to our core that our outward life conflicts with what we want and know to be true for our lives – we will not be able to live in the moment. We will constantly be trying to fix things, but they will be the wrong things, because we have not yet closed the gap between our ideal and reality.

Serenity and yoga practicing,meditation at mountain range

When we are not content with our reality, we set up a dichotomy. We imagine that somewhere far away, we could experience a reality that would truly allow us to experience the present moment. Yet the only way to bring that far away place and truth into our current reality is to first be content with where we are today.

Otherwise, we can climb every mountaintop but find no inner peace. We can transverse the globe or drive across three states to visit relatives, friends or sacred spaces yet return tired and spent rather than refreshed. We can do lots of “work” to create an idealized holiday, while we would be better served by embracing the day. We can continue to leave no stone unturned, on a restless quest, ignoring the rich stones in our own gardens.

As we move through the final days of November, turn the page for December and start the New Year, let’s look ahead but also stay present in NOW. Whether it is Thanksgiving weekend for you now, or a regular weekday now, how can you allow your reality to be closer to your vision? What large or small steps can you take to grant yourself freedom, forgiveness, expansive breath and emotional space?

What large or small steps can you take to grant yourself freedom, forgiveness, expansive breath and emotional space?

In my coaching practice, when clients wish to change jobs, we often start with what they can change in their current situation. Sometimes it is an outward change, such as asking for more responsibility in a competency that is highly relevant for their careers and in which they wish to grow. Sometimes it is an inward change, such as creating better boundaries or growing their influence across (and outside of) the organization. We also ask what is working, so they do not lose sight of what they already have.

Taking it back to the holiday season, what feels like an unsurmountable gap between your ideal and reality? How can you close that gap? How can you reflect on the lessons of yesterday and today to create a present moment that serves you?

Feel free to leave a question or comment below.

Anne Marie Segal is an executive coach, business and resume writer and author of two well-received books on interviewing and career development. She served as a corporate attorney for 15 years before launching her coaching practice, including roles at White & Case LLP and a hedge and private equity fund manager. Anne Marie is based in Stamford, CT and serves an international clientele.

Image above: Adobe Images.

What Do You Want Out of Life? (and, by extension, your career?)

When I was growing up, I never understood the fascination with celebrities. My mother would take me to the grocery store, and I would see print magazines spilling off the racks, full of minute details about their lives. This was back before the Internet, of course. Now we visit websites, download videos and podcasts and follow Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter feeds of our favorite larger-than-life personalities.

What is it about the people “the world” admires that is different from the average Jane or Joe? What gets at the heart of making someone into a success? These were questions that interested me at a young age. As I grew up, I learned that fame and success were often unrelated. There is a whole other class of people who are highly successful and receive more private accolades and other forms of praise (compensation being only one).

The conundrum is always this – how can we do what we want to do and also find a way to make that into a career?

What is it about the people “the world” admires that is different from the average Jane or Joe? What gets at the heart of making someone into a success? These were questions that interested me at a young age. As I grew up, I learned that fame and success were often unrelated. There is a whole other class of people who are highly successful and receive more private accolades and other forms of praise (compensation being only one).

As I was working on my second book, Know Yourself, Grow Your Career, I approached this question from another angle. Rather than asking what are the hallmarks of success, I asked how someone can create success from the inside.

The conundrum is always this – how can we do what we want to do and also find a way to make that into a career? If you have young children, you will see that they naturally find things they like to do. Sports, music, art, performance, cooking and other talents emerge. As parents, we can encourage these tendencies, and we often judge whether a child is “actually talented enough” to make a career of something. I hear parents say all the time things like, “Yes, Tim is really good at soccer, but I don’t think he’s good enough to make a career out of it.”

Most of us appreciate, in the context of children, that these judgment calls are important on one level but can be very limiting on another. They can help children develop an appropriate level of risk aversion, and most parents mean them in this vein. But sometimes these comments can take away the very things that give a child joy because they are focused on a bright-line test: the yes-no answer of whether one can make money and success out of one’s passions.

If we could fast-forward twenty years in Tim’s life, we would get to see what happened with the soccer. Did he continue to play? Does he still love the game? Is he athletic in other ways as an adult? What carried through from his early interests into his adult life?

Beautiful girl enjoying nature

We often view those who achieve success and fame with a lens of sentimentality and a sense that living with purpose, in touch with our interests and values, is out of reach. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

If I return to my initial question – what do we admire about celebrities? – it is essentially this: they are doing what they love. (Or, at least, they appear so from the outside.) The average Joes, Janes and Tims, on the other hand, have foregone what they love in the service of what they can tolerate and get paid to do.

Now let’s avoid the pejoratives here. Soccer isn’t necessarily a higher calling than lawyering, for example. A kid who loves soccer can grow up, become a lawyer and love his career and life. This means his interests have changed. On the other hand, a kid can love soccer, be told it’s child’s play and he needs to “get serious.” He then looks around, latches on lawyering because of one influence or another (without thinking it through) and end up with a career and life that he abhors.

I’m talking to that second Tim. As a career coach, I get calls all the time from people just like him. They chose careers so removed from their interests, talents and strengths that they are floundering, just treading water or completely overwhelmed in their jobs. It’s hard to talk about concepts like thought leadership or career advancement when they can’t even see a future for themselves beyond the current week.

If you are in that place, here’s a glimmer of where to start. Think of what you loved as a child. Drill down into that. If it was soccer, was it the feeling of being part of a team? Was it the adrenaline rush of a goal? If it was guitar, did you feel “one” with the music, loving the vibrations rushing through your body? Did you achieve a sense of peace that you find difficult to replicate in other areas of your life?

These are just ideas. Rekindle and regain a connection with your deepest desires – or find new ones – and ask yourself what speaks to you when you connect with them. Then, from that place of feeling centered and whole, ask yourself how you can build out your life and career from there.

Anne Marie Segal is an executive coach, author, resume strategist, member of Forbes Coaches Council, mother of two middle schoolers and former practicing attorney. She is the author of Master the Interview: A Guide for Working Professionals and Know Yourself, Grow Your Career: The Personal Value Proposition Workbook (available online through Amazon, Barnes & Noble and local booksellers).

Image credit above: Adobe Stock.

A Career Coach on a Snow Day: Grit

As a snow day gives you time to reflect on what you want for your life and career and (for many of us) what you want to pass on to the next generation, I was thankful for the snow.

Red plastic shovel with black handle stuck in fluffy snow.

Here’s a quick thought about snow days from a career coach and mom, as the East Coast is being pummeled by Blizzard 2017, the snowmaggedon or whatever we are calling it today.

As a snow day gives you time to reflect on what you want for your life and career and (for many of us) what you want to pass on to the next generation, I was thankful for the snow.

My son took the snow blower and cleared the driveway this afternoon, which shows grit. He doesn’t always have grit. In fact, as a talented yet distractable boy, it is a key skill that we know he will need to build over time, as it does not come naturally to him. So we try to create situations that require grit but will not overwhelm him, so he will be motivated to push forward.

Grit is as old as time and has become the new power skill, as it is needed in just about every life situation. Here’s some more about instilling grit in children and educating students about grit:

The Carnegie Foundation

The Atlantic

NPR

I think often about how we build grit as a world and within our own families. In particular, what can we do to help children appreciate the skills they need to serve as leaders in the future and “show up” the right way to succeed? Today, the answer fell from the sky.

Snow Day Grit - Snow Blower

Anne Marie Segal is a career and leadership development coach, author, resume strategist and member of Forbes Coaches Council. She is founder of Segal Coaching, author of Master the Interview: A Guide for Working Professionals (available on Amazon.com) and a frequent public speaker in New York, Connecticut and beyond.

Where and How Do You Find Wonder and Inspiration? A Photo Essay

As I enjoyed a beautiful day outside in perfect weather yesterday, I started reflecting on the times I am most creative and what inspires me: when time slows down and I am able to think expansively. It’s a goal of mine to have more of those moments in the coming year.

Seljalandfoss waterfall at sunset in HDR, Iceland

Creativity – where and how do you find it?

As I enjoyed a beautiful day outside in perfect weather yesterday, I started reflecting on the times I am most creative and what inspires me: when time slows down, I wonder at the beauty of the world and am able to think expansively. It’s a goal of mine to increase the frequency and intensity of these moments in the coming year.

Is creativity a top value for you?

Does you need to consistently refuel your creativity to do your best work?

Where do you find that you are most creative?

Do you need to step out of your regular life to achieve it?

Where and how can you increase your opportunities to find wonder in the world?

Does exposure to the creativity of others fuel your own?

Can you generate more to fuel yourself and others?

How can increased creativity drive positive change in your life and career?

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Top image: Seljalandfoss waterfall at sunset in HDR, Iceland (Shutterstock).

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Focus on what you can change, without attachment to outcomes.

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Distractions, disappointments and interruptions can reveal the gap between our idealized and real experiences.

To simply be present with who and where we are, we need first to be content with who and where we are.

What large or small steps can you take to grant yourself freedom, forgiveness, expansive breath and emotional space?

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We often view those who achieve success and fame with a lens of sentimentality and a sense that living with purpose, in touch with our interests and values, is out of reach. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

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Creativity – where and how do you find it?

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